January 2006 Archives

OhMyGosh! I left the garage this morning driving to work - you'd swear there had been a tornado in Pasadena last night! Branches down, leaves everywhere - there were streets that literally had a "path" through the leaves and branches! And it was like that all the way into Burbank!

This means one dreadful thing - allergies! :(

Today has been incredibly difficult. Here's the back story. A couple weeks ago my folks, who have been caring for my dogs, Rogue & Storm, took Storm (my younger great dane) to the vet to check out a lump on her leg. It wasn't there over Thanksgiving when I last saw them. It was some odd bone-growth. The vet took some x-rays, didn't like what he saw. Took some tests; the results came in Tuesday. It was not a fungal infection, as he was hoping. It was cancer. It was in her lungs. It had virtually destroyed her leg bone - it was like "cheesecloth" he indicated. At any time, she could step wrong and fracture her leg very very badly.

He could amputate the leg, and put her thru chemotherapy and radiation to address the cancer - but the odds were that we'd only extend her life a max of 6 months. He highly recommended that she be put down within two weeks, because of the leg - if/when it snapped, she would be in extreme agony, and things would be worse at that point.

I took today off (and I'm not going in tomorrow, either); I drove up to my folks place (4 hrs away) - spent some last time with my ever-so-loving dog, Storm, and then made the incredibly difficult journey to take her to vet, never to be seen again.

I took her into the vet office lobby. there was a lady there with her two young children (one in a stroller). Storm sniffed and played with them for a minute. The vet assistant knew who Storm was and was expecting her. She came around with the vet-leash. She very sadly asked, I know she meant it kindly, "how are you?" - I just absolutely lost it. I burst into sobbing tears. It took me a minute to recompose myself; she slipped the leash over her head. I unclipped my leash. The asst then had me remove her collar. I hugged her and kissed her, just absolutely balling. I turned around and just ran out of the door. I wailed when I was outside. Absolutely lost every bit of dignity I had.

I love her so much. I still cry, sobbing, weeping. She was so wonderful, so loving. I miss both my dogs, them not being able to live with me - and then for this to happen. She was just about to turn 6. So young. I miss her.

Nothing has ever been harder for me to do.