December 2006 Archives

The madness starts. Rose Bowl & Tournament of Roses Parade Weekend. I just ran to the grocery stores to stock up - cuz lemme tell ya, I'm locking myself IN for the the remainder of the weekend. Ralph's wasn't so bad - busy, but not overly so, tho it was clear other people were thinking the same as me.

Then Target. Target! My goodness. I have NEVER seen the parking lot THAT full. Top level parking, 100% full. I drove it twice, and never found a spot. Moved down to level B - it was full - luckily as I got to the end of that level, I saw a lady about to pull out and grabbed her spot. Went to walk downstairs to enter the store - the stairs were closed - they just painted (hm, I would have waited til AFTER this weekend). So okay, elevator. Oh, one of the two garage elevators was busted, and everyone is waiting for the remaining one - several minutes pass before it finally arrives (it's only 3 floors, so WTH?). Inside was not crowded, per-se, but normal busy. I'm betting people have parked in the lot for the parade.

So yeah - gonna be a crazy weekend - and I'm doing my part to NOT be a part of it :)

On another note - Is *everyone* busy or ignoring me today? Seriously, I think I called SIX of my friends to say hi, catch up, etc, while I was out. Not a single person answered their phone. We'll see who actually calls back. I know one person who's extremely bad about calling back (in spite of always saying he will). Actually everyone else will call, I'm sure-- but is everyone THAT busy today? I wouldn't figure the activities would start til tomorrow? I'll be home - by myself - nothing to do, no where to go. I know that sounds "sad" - but I'm pretty ok with it. Yeah, I'm feeling a little lonely, but that's probably good for me right now.

If I don't talk to you, btw - I hope you have a great (and safe) New Years Eve! Cheers!

I WIN! Yup, it is decidedly so! I refer, of course to the battle against spam. You, my faithful readers (which is probably just myself, so I'm talking to myself - again!) know that I hate spam. With a passion. That's one reason I like being in control of my own domain (figuratively and literally). Roughly 8-9 hrs ago, spam virtually stopped coming into my mail server. Just dropped to almost zero like a light-switch had been turned off. And it seems, if you look at the graphs, it's been slowly starting to trail off for the last week, maybe? Even after a HUGE spike a few weeks ago.

Today's Spam Rejects



This Week's Spam Rejects



This Month's Spam Rejects

So. I win. :)

Yeah, someone could throw the lightswitch back on ... but until then, I'm going to "bask" :)

2006 is officially the saddest year on record. It has started & ended with me crying, & hurt due to major loss in my life.

I didn't ask directly, but the question in the back of my head got answered - and unfortunately I was right all along. I saw the signs, I didn't want to believe them.

In a (bad) way, it was easier working 16 hr days - I never had time to care about other people.

I've always enjoying this soft "jazzy" song by George Michael. Now it has particular meaning.

Kissing A Fool - George Michael

You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that you were strong enough,
To even make a start,
But you'll never find
Peace of mind,
Til you listen to your heart,

People,
You can never change the way they feel,
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will,
If you let them,
Steal your heart from you,
People,
Will always make a lover feel a fool,
But you knew I loved you,
We could have shown them all,
We should have seen love through,

Fooled me with the tears in your eyes,
Covered me with kisses and lies,
So goodbye,
But please don't take my heart,

You are far,
I'm never gonna be your star,
I'll pick up the pieces
And mend my heart,
Maybe I'll be strong enough,
I don't know where to start,
But I'll never find
Peace of mind,
While I listen to my heart,

People,
You can never change the way they feel,
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will,
If you let them,
Steal your heart,

And people,
Will always make a lover feel a fool,
But you knew I loved you,
We could have shown them all,

But remember this,
Every other kiss,
That you ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man,
One you really can surrender with,
I will wait for you,
Like I always do,
There's something there,
That can't compete with any other,

You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that I was wrong enough,
To think you'd love me too.
I guess you were kissing a fool,
You must have been kissing a fool.

I received a spam today. It was titled Holiday Fun From Equifax.

Hmm. The credit agency? Holiday fun? How incongruous is THAT?

I didn't bother reading - but the subject line is still making me giggle.

I'm a simple man and it's the little things that get me :)

I woke up this morning... 0743... ("sleeping in")... and after laying there (listening to the noisy neighbours who wouldn't let me get another hour of sleep)... I realized, it's official. Due to all the huge amts of negative emotional stress lately, I'm depressed.

it sucks, i hate it. it's been a long time since I've felt like this. Not even during the "6 month period" a couple years ago.

But I'm familiar with it at least. I already know it'll get better - the new job, moving to san diego - that'll take care of things. it's a "starting over" point. I'm sure if I just batten down and make it through Christmas I'll be back to normal. Hopefully by then I'll be more in control of a 'date' for moving & starting the new job.

Just need that "something" to energize, to motivate me... to not make me feel like the world is dumping on me. I yeah, I know it's not - but there's still that "heavy" feeling - like something pressing against your chest all the time... it's a sadness. maybe it's the combination of all the sadness of recent events which has done it.

It'll pass. need to make new friends in San Diego, people to go do things with; need that new apartment so I can make a place that's fully my own. I know that it'll be good for me. I'm eager & anxious for it to happen.